heard the guy talk in this video and i was immediately teleported to brooklyn
(Source: catsofinstagram)
Dance to anything
Maybe I’m biased because I make my own clothes, but skirts are better than trousers because you can put bigger pockets in skirts. With trousers, you’re limited to the size of your leg but with skirts you can just fill it up and people will just assume you’re wearing a petticoat until they hear the crunch of the Dorito bags.
Just once I’d like the see an historical heroine be asked if it bothers her that she has to wear skirts and have say, “Not really. I couldn’t fit this in a waistcoat.” and just pull out a loaf of bread or something and start eating it right in front of the baffled male lead.
It would work great in the 1700s with those removable pockets, you could fit a couple of Italian loaves in there.
I was doing research for a medieval dress, and I learned that those long bell sleeves were like pockets, and one woman would show off that she could carry a whole ham in hers
do you ever watch something and think “this was written by a man”
i was up late night watching an episode of criminal minds fairly recently, for lack of a better thing to do. in the opening scene there are these two girls getting into their car in like a supermarket parking lot, not very well lit, in the middle of the night. another car drives up right behind theirs and won’t move out of the way so this one girl is like “im gonna go see what this guy’s problem is” and gets out of the car, in a poorly lit parking lot, to confront a man who was behaving aggressively to them.
so that was the precise moment i realised that episode was written by a man.
I was watching an episode of CSI where the entire reason they were going forward with the case was that ‘no woman would wear a bra this expensive without also wearing the matching panties’. What porn logic is this? I was, at that moment, wearing the exact bra the Jane Doe was wearing and fuck no I didn’t spring for the matching panties. Even if I did, I wouldn’t wear them as often as a bra. Panties I wash daily. Bras? Not so much.
But in CSI World, police resources were being mobilized on how irregular it would be for a woman to wear a $36 bra, but not caring about how she would look in just underthings.
Never mind not matching, but that they think $36 is expensive for a bra is probably the number one sign it was written by a man.
In Star Wars Padmé goes for Anakin while Ewan McGregor is around
I just really want to write a book (in fact, I think that I’m going to) where the protagonist is in a wheelchair. And they live in a city where there’s a group of superheroes. And there’s a big, magical, villain because of course there is.
And since they were a young child, this protagonist has wanted nothing more than to join the group of superheroes. Like they’re a huge fan of the group and they just know that it’s their destiny to join.
And one day, when wheeling through the city, they see the group of heroes fighting the villain. And they quickly wheel over and cry, “Let me help!”
But the ‘heroes’ laugh and instead make a whole bunch of ableist remarks.
And so the protagonist has to prove themselves.
And the villain is trying to warn them to stop.
But the protagonist ends up taking their footrest off of their wheelchair and they swing it. And it hits the villain in the side of the face and the villain collapses and groans in pain.
And so the protagonist proudly smiles and turns to the group of heroes.
Because they just proved that they are strong and worthy enough.
But the group of ‘heroes’ still keeps making ableist remarks.
And the protagonist is shocked.
And meanwhile, the ‘villain’ staggers to their feet and is standing next to the protagonist’ wheelchair.
And one of the ‘heroes’ goes too far when calling the protagonist the R word.
And the protagonist and the ‘villain’ just sort of glance at one another.
And the ‘villain’ is just like, “You know…I can zap them for you…if you want.”
And the protagonist hesitates and says, “Yeah, alright!”
One fried group of heroes later, the ‘villain’ says, “Why do you think that I’m always fighting them? They’re all a bunch of assholes.”
And the protagonist sadly nods and starts to wheel away.
Then:
“Hey, do you want a job?”
The protagonist turns at the villain’s remark. And the protagonist mumbles something like, “Oh, come on. I don’t need your pity.”
And the ‘villain’ is like, “Pity!? Do I look like someone who hands out pity!? I don’t pity you! I’m kind of afraid of you, to be honest! I mean…I’m going to have a giant bruise on my face because of you.”
“Yeah…sorry…”
“Water under the bridge! So, what do you say? Do you want a job?”
And the protagonist thinks about it for a minute before shrugging.
And the ‘villain’ is all excited because they’ve wanted someone to work with them for years but no mortal is allowed to ‘step into’ their lair.
And then the ‘villain’ stops and is like, “Hang on…you can’t work with me in that.”
And they gesture to the protagonist’s wheelchair.
And the protagonist is all embarrassed.
And then the villain goes, “Because we can get you a much better wheelchair! It’ll look great! And it’ll be indestructible! And it’ll have all sorts of weapons and gadgets! Hey, how do you feel about flying…?”
And all of that is literally in the first chapter and then the rest of the story follows the two going around the city like BAMFs, forcing people to stop being ableist, one way or another. And maybe it’ll have some commentary on the scale of morality and what it truly means to be a hero and what it truly means to be a villain.
Would anyone be interested in this!?
Because I really want to write it!?
YESSSSS. ALL MY YES PLS WRITE IT
I’D READ THE SHIT OUT OF THAT YES PLEASE
OP HERE!
Man, it’s so surreal to look at this.
BECAUSE I ACTUALLY WROTE IT!
AND IT WAS JUST PUBLISHED TONIGHT!
Of course, there are some differences between the final book and this original idea. The most notable difference is that all of this takes place in the first book (it’s going to be a series!) and the whole ‘superhero’ thing is just going to be a front. There’s a few other differences as well (such as a huge plotline involving Merlin and immortal characters!)
BUT I WROTE IT!
AND IT’S PUBLISHED!
AND IF YOU’RE INTERESTED, YOU CAN BUY IT HERE:
AND IF YOU WANT TO HELP ME OUT, YOU CAN REVIEW IT!
AND IF YOU REALLY WANT TO HELP ME OUT, YOU CAN SIGNAL BOOST THIS POST WITH THIS REPLY SO THAT PEOPLE ACTUALLY KNOW THAT THE BOOK NOW EXISTS!
UPDATES 2+ Years Later:
The Antagonists Series (Books One - Five) is now available in paperback!
https://www.amazon.com/gp/bookseries/B017TW3ZD0/ref=dp_st_1521362947
This is honestly the most surreal post to look back on in the 25,000+ posts that I’ve made/reblogged in my six years on this website.
Regardless
BOOK SIX IS NOW AVAILABLE!
SIGNAL BOOST!
Since once in a blue moon I actually discover a decent rule for adulting, and since I know I have followers a few years younger than me who are just entering the workforce, I want to tell you about a very important phrase.
“I won’t be available.”
Imagine you’re at work and your boss asks you to come in on Saturday. Saturday is usually your day off–coming in Saturdays is not an obligation to keep your job. Maybe you were going to watch a movie with a friend, or maybe you were just going to lie in bed and eat ice cream for eight hours, but either way you really, really don’t want to give up your day off.
If you consider yourself a millennial you’ve probably been raised to believe you need to justify not being constantly at work. And if you’re a gen-Z kid you’re likely getting the same toxic messages that we did. So in a situation like that, you might be inclined to do one of three things:
- Tell your boss you’d rather not give up your day off. Cave when they pressure you to come in anyway, since you’re not doing anything important.
- Tell your boss you’d rather not give up your day off. Over-apologize and worry that you looked bad/unprofessional.
- Lie and say you’ve got a doctor’s appointment or some other activity that feels like an adequate justification for not working.
The fact is, it doesn’t matter to your boss whether you’re having open heart surgery or watching anime in your underwear on Saturday. The only thing that affects them is the fact that you won’t be at work. So telling them why you won’t be at work only gives them reason to try and pressure you to come in anyway.
If you say “I won’t be available,” giving no further information, you’d be surprised how often that’s enough. Be polite and sympathetic in your tone, maybe even say “sorry, but I won’t be available.” But don’t make an excuse. If your boss is a professional individual, they’ll accept that as a ‘no’ and try to find someone else.
But bosses aren’t always professional. Sometimes they’re whiny little tyrants. So, what if they pressure you further? The answer is–politely and sympathetically give them no further information.
“Are you sure you’re not available?” “Sorry, but yes.”
“Why won’t you be available?” “I have a prior commitment.” (Which you do, even if it’s only to yourself.)
“What’s your prior commitment?” “Sorry, but that’s kind of personal.”
“Can you reschedule it?” “I’m afraid not. Maybe someone else can come in?”
If you don’t give them anything to work with, they can’t pressure you into going beyond your obligations as an employee. And when they realize that, they’ll also realize they have to find someone else to come in and move on.
IMPORTANT!! PLEASE READ!!
Just like with many other parts of life, learn to say ‘no’ to people. You are important. Don’t kill yourself for another person, esp. if they are your boss.
(Source: weheartit.com)
in hocus pocus when the sanderson sisters bust out a flawless rendition of I Put A Spell On You complete with modified lyrics, back-up vocals, AND choreography, in spite of having been dead for 300 years and otherwise having zero knowledge of the modern world and certainly no psychic powers either……………….. can only be rationalized by “they rolled a nat 20 on Performance”
now that i think about it, a LOT of hocus pocus makes more sense as a D&D campaign with the sanderson sisters as an Evil party (winnie is lawful, mary is neutral, sarah is chaotic)
DM: you see a guy dressed as–actually, can you all do a perception check for me?
Winnifred: …3
Mary: i got a 4.
Sarah: oh shit… 1.
DM: okay, you see the actual devil. lucifer himself is here, in this modern suburban neighborhood.also,
DM: everyone roll a wisdom saving throw for me pls
*everyone rolls terribly*
DM: okay so max has just cast ‘burning rain of death,’ and
did i ever tell ppl about the time me and my family thought my older brother was gay and dating his best friend? they used to hold hands and cuddle and shit all the time and cause my brothers super quiet we kinda just thought that was him coming out and didn’t really say anything about it. this went on for maybe two yrs and then one day he arrives home with this girl and is all ‘id like you guys to meet my girlfriend’. at this point everyone is ’????’ and my mom is literally crying and like ‘u broke up with James?!?!?!’ and honestly I’ve never seen a man more confused in his life and yeah that’s the time my family fucked up for like 2 yrs
Why were they cuddling and holding hands may I ask
because they wanted to
let guys be intimate friends 2k17
I’m allowed to be angry about what happened. I am allowed to be angry about what you did.
I don’t think I’ll ever find anything funnier than The Office Job episode of Leverage.